ESL Video Quiz: Dear Kitten

Quiz #: 26565
(ESL Category: listening) An old cat teach to a kitten how to live
funny, publicity, cat 6349

Dear Kitten,
Since I have hissed at you, the customary 437 times. It is now my duty, as the head of the household to begrudgingly welcome you. Perhaps you are here to replace me but I must do my duty and educate you on your new surroundings as Maximilian once did for me... Rest in peace.
Dear Kitten, this room here is basically a crap shoot. Either you get the petting of your life and I mean two hands like you don't even know what's going on, or they just lie there and don't do anything for hours, it's weird.
Oh and I should also point out, on special occasion they will leave the underwear drawer open to signal their appreciation of me, just to be clear, it's my spot. It's perfect in there. It's like sleeping surrounded by underwear. Well I mean that's exactly what it is.

Dear Kitten, I remember when I could fit in a shoe.There's just nothing like it. Being engulfed in 360 degrees of foot smell… Enjoy it while you can.
Dear Kitten, because you are so small, you can not jump which is sad, sad for you, but eventually you will and you will find the places that I referred to as up. This will come in handy especially around human larva which I know smells like milk but can be a bit grubby.

Dear kitten, you should be aware that there are two kinds of food. The first is sort of dehydrate- brown niblet. I think they give us these because they're training us to be astronauts, just a guess. The second kind is wet food it's so special they keep it in little armor metal casings that no claw will penetrate with no claws to speak of .The humans can somehow open them. It's like some dark magic. Dear kitten, I should warn you of the monster known as vacuum. It can eat and yell at the same time and I've seen it everything seriously like a paper clip and two cats toys didn't even flinch. To hide from vacuum you may use the curtains of invisibility.
Oh yeah ! You're good ! Good hiding, my boy. Dear Kitten, one final note. Once in awhile you might see a little red dart. I'm going to tell you this right now. It is real and it can be caught. I did it once.
I held it for a full minute but when I lifted by my pose, It was gone. So Kitten. Welcome to the household !
You’ll do just fine.

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