A Traffic Violation: Rachel and Ross Get Pulled Over

TRANSCRIPT FOR RACHEL AND ROSS GET PULLED OVER

Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! I'll go under, you go over!
Ross: Yeah, I'll get right on that.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, I'm sure we won't get arrested for this.
(She sits back up as the policeman approaches. She undoes her top button.)
Rachel: (sexily) Hi officer, was I going a little too fast?
Ross: Oh my God.
Policeman: Can I see your license please?
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Y'know, it's weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh…well I probably shouldn't tell you the rest.
Policeman: Your license?
Rachel: (handing it to him) Yes. Here you go Officer uh, Handsome.
Policeman: That's Hanson.
Rachel: Oops sorry, my mistake.
Ross: Dear Lord!!
Policeman: Wow!
Ross: Here it comes.
Policeman: This is a great picture.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Y'know, I had just rolled out of bed.
Policeman: Yeah? Well you look phenomenal.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Rachel: Y'know you're-you're probably wondering about the old date on there.
Policeman: Yes I am.
Rachel: Yeah.
Policeman: You're an Aquarius, huh?
Rachel: I bet you're a Gemini.
Policeman: Nope.
Rachel: Taurus?
Policeman: Nope.
Rachel: Virgo?
Policeman: Nope.
Rachel: Sagittarius?
Policeman: Yep.
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh….
Policeman: Well I tell you what…
Rachel: Yeah?
Policeman: You're not gonna speed anymore right?
Rachel: I won't speed.
Policeman: And you promise you'll get this taken care of right away?
Rachel: I promise.
Policeman: And in the meantime you better let him drive. Does he have a license?
Rachel: Yeah!
Policeman: Can he handle the stick?
Rachel: Oh well…
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
NEXT SCENE
Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone!
Ross: Who?
Rachel: Fourth gear!!
(Suddenly a siren goes off.)
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasn't doing anything!
Rachel: Well maybe he saw your hand slip briefly from the ten and two o'clock position.
Ross: Maybe it's uh Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more! (They pull over.)
Rachel: It's a different guy!
(The policeman walks up.)
Ross: Good evening officer.
Policeman: Do you know how fast you were traveling back there?
Ross: Ah no. I don't, but it could not have been more than sixty.
Policeman: You're right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Ross: I mean you're not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Policeman: That's right.
(There's a pause as Ross gets suddenly flirtatious.)
Ross: Y'know of-officer I uh…I had the weirdest dream last night…
Rachel: Oh my God!
Policeman: Your license please.
Ross: (laughs) You don't-you don't want to hear about my dream Officer…Pretty?
Policeman: It's Petty. (He grabs Ross's license.) I'll be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
Ross: I know. I know.