Talk About Differences and Similarities

Interviewer: Today we're gonna talk about something different. We're going to talk about our differences and our similarities.

Child: It's okay to talk about your differences.

Child: Sometimes people's skin looks different.

Child: And sometimes they look the same.

Interviewer: That's right. And I think it's important that we notice differences so that we can celebrate what's different about us and other people.

Children: Yeah.

Child: If everyone was the same, that just be boring.

Child: And everyone's a little special. In their own way.

Child: I treat my friends the way they wanna be treated. I tell them you are who you're supposed to be.

(Upbeat music)

Interviewer: Why do people look different from one another?

Adult: I think people look differently because they come from different families, different countries, different continents. It is a beautiful thing to see all the different types of people. It's the reason why life is very interesting. Imagine if you look like me.

Child: That would not be fun to be honest. (All laughing)

Adult: That's exactly right.

Interviewer: Sometimes you have questions about how someone might be different and it might be because their skin is a little bit different than yours, or it might be because they're older and you have questions about what it's like to be an older kid.

Child: Yeah.

Interviewer: It's important for us to have these conversations because...

Child: They are, well... a little good.

Interviewer: They are good conversations because you're curious about the world around you, aren't you?

Child: Yeah.

Interviewer: What do you think is good about being different from other people?

Child: It's more funner, and if everybody was the same, like it would be really weird.

Interviewer: Do you remember when you first started having these conversations, Rae?

Rae: I think the first time I ever had this conversation I was like three, 'cause that's when I could understand you actually.

Adult: I would agree it was around three years old and would talk about the uniqueness of ethnicities, and cultures, and people, and the different tones of skin, and that we should see those differences, that we should acknowledge the beauty of diversity. The more we get comfortable with talking about our differences, the more we can learn to respect and applaud and celebrate our differences, right?

Child: Yeah.

Interviewer: Rashad, I'm gonna have you pick up the next orange card and read that to your mom.

Rashad: Name three things that are different about you and me?

Mother: Three things. I identify as female, you identify as male. I'm taller than you, and my feet are larger than yours.

Rashad: And you have braces, that's four.

Mother: And I have braces, you don't.

Child: My hair is spiky and my dad's isn't.

Father: I have a mustache and you don't.

Child: I definitely don't.

Child: Your hair is longer than mine.

Father: Way longer.

Child: Daddy has a wide nose.

Adult: Daddy's nose is wider.

Child: Destiny has freckles on her nose.

Adult: You have freckles right here.

Child: Daddy has a beard. (All laughing)

Mother: Your hair, you got beautiful curly hair. And me and daddy, well, you know daddy.

Adult: Our hair color, very different. Our eye color.

Child: We have different skin color.

Adult: Very different. My mom's is tan, and mine is like a lighter color.

Interviewer: Even you and your brother, do you think you look the same?

Child: No.

Interviewer: Why not?

Child: I look a little more light brownish and John would look lighter. Sometimes he wishes he looks like us. I told him that you know need to look like us, and then he goes outside to try and tan. (Laughs)

Adult: We have to remind him that people who are Mexican look all kinds of different ways. There are Mexicans who are darker, there are Mexicans who are lighter. He should feel proud of the way that he looks. Even if the way that he looks is different than us.

Child: Yes.

Interviewer: Oscar, name three things about you and me that are similar.

Oscar: We almost have the same color. We have a similar coloring.

Interviewer: Yeah. And we like to go for walks.

Oscar: Yeah, that's something we have in common. And we... and baseball.

Interviewer: Playing baseball, that's right. What color are my eyes, Calvin?

Calvin: Blue and mine is blue.

Interviewer: You're right, yeah. And when I was growing up, my hair was blonde like that.

Calvin: And now your hair is grayish.

Interviewer: You weren't supposed to say that.

Adult: So we're both black. We both love spicy foods.

Child: Jamaican, spicy, yes.

Adult: And we both like chocolate.

Child: We both like chocolate. A lot of chocolate. Dancing.

Adult: And dancing, we both like to dance.

Child: We both love to dance, I was dancing last night. Yeah, you were dancing last night, you were like...

Child: We have the same mindset.

Adult: Do we? That's so intellectual. Can we talk about your hair for a second? Because I'm really feeling just like this whole growing out embracing the texture of your hair. I think your hair is absolutely gorgeous.

Child: I do love this hair.

Adult: I love it. So tell me why you chose to grow out your hair.

Child: I had a lot of rappers that I watched in Sunday songs, and I just loved how they grew their hair out. Remember, I used to get the low cuts with the fade. I just didn't want this low hair anymore. And my brother, he chose to get dreadlocks that really inspired me to get this type of hair 'cause I didn't want mine to unravel because me and my dad's hair or curly is silky, so if I got locked and I did that, it will unravel. So I got plaits.

Adult: Yeah and I just think in terms of just being able to express yourself the ways in which we style our hair and that we wear our hair is a form, a huge form of self-expression.

Child: Yes.

Interviewer: Oscar, do your friends all look exactly like you or do they look different?

Oscar: Some look different.

Interviewer: Pauline, is Pauline your best friend? Yeah, and she's different from you in a lot of ways, right?

Oscar: She has white skin, I have all brown skin.

Interviewer: Yeah, and she's a girl and you're a boy and that's okay too.

Oscar: Yeah.

Interviewer: And you guys can just still play, right?

Oscar: We like to play. Also she asks me if we can marry, but only pretend when we grow up.

Interviewer: Yeah. Let's talk about your BFF. How are you guys different and how are you guys the same?

Child: I have black curly hair, she has blonde straight hair. I have dark brown eyes, she has greenish bluish eyes.

Interviewer: Oh, wow.

Child: And my skin color is darker, and her skin color is white. So there's some ways that we are different. In some ways we are the same which a lot of ways, we both love, love candy, like we like love candy. We both love school. We both love our teacher. We're both homeschooled.

Interviewer: So it sounds like you have more things in common with your friend then different.

Child: Yes, I just didn't say all of them, there's like a thousand things we have in common.

Interviewer: I know, I'm sure you have yes, I know, I know.

Child: I don't care if they're white, black or whatever, I just care that they're nice, they're respectful. And that they are true BFFs is what I call them.

Interviewer: Talk to me about the kinds of kids who are represented in your school. So do you go to a school where all of the children are one skin tone?

Child: No, it's open to the community.

Interviewer: Do you remember the word that we use to describe when you have a bunch of different...

Child: Diversity.

Interviewer: Yeah, you go to a super diverse school that's made up of so many different kinds of children, cultures, backgrounds, which is great 'cause the more diverse, the more you can learn from one another, right?

Children: Yup.

Interviewer: Do you celebrate all the same holidays as your friends? Or do you have holidays that are special to you and your family?

Child: I'm Jewish and Catholic, so we celebrate Hanukkah and bat mitzvahs and all these other holidays.

Adult: We used to live in New York city, and there were a lot more Jewish people, so there were a lot more people who celebrate the holidays and where we live now, there's not a lot of Jewish people there, so the holidays are not celebrated and the schools are open during those holidays.

Interviewer: How does it make you feel that we're living in a place that doesn't have as many Jewish people?

Child: It makes me feel really different because not a lot of people celebrate the same holidays we celebrate.

Adult: Although they're all differences, we're humans, we have hearts, right? And we're the same in that respect we still have feelings and emotions, right?

Child: It's fun actually to notice differences in like, oh, my skin color is like that, oh, and yours is like that. Oh, my face is like this, oh, and you're just like that. So it's like an observation.

Interviewer: It's to your point about observation it's about being curious about someone's differences and learning about their background. The differences make life really interesting, don't you think?